You Might Be A Nurse If...

You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that
they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while
performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.

You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve
earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.

You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.

You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.


Author: Michael Seaver, RN, EMT-P (Goofy ER RN)
Michael@EMSCON.net

Types Of Doctors

There are several types of doctors, and it's said they can be
differentiated by the following method:

General practitioners know nothing and do little.

Surgeons know little and do everything.

Internists knows everything and do nothing.

Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it's
usually too late.

..and then we have Shrinks who cure dreams...or dream cures.

Author Unknown

A Short History of Medicine

I have an earache...


2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

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