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Managed
Care Symphony
The
president of a large managed care company was also chairman of
the board of his community's symphony orchestra. Finding he
could not go to one of his concerts, he gave the tickets to the
company's director of health care containment.
The next morning, the president asked the director how he
enjoyed the performances. Instead of the expected usual polite
remarks, the director handed him a memorandum which read as
follows:
1.The attendance of the orchestra conductor is unnecessary for
public performances. The orchestra has obviously practiced and
has received prior authorization from the conductor to play the
symphony at a predetermined level of quality. Considerable money
could have been saved merely by having the conductor critique
the orchestra's performance during a retrospective peer review
meeting.
2.For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to
do. Their numbers should be reduced and their work spread over
the whole orchestra, thus eliminating peaks and valleys of
activity.
3.All twelve violins were playing identical notes with identical
motions. This is unnecessary duplication: the staff of this
section should be drastically cut with
consequent savings. If a larger volume of sound is required,
this could be obtained through electric amplification, which has
reached very high levels of reproductive quality.
4.Much effort was expended playing 16th notes or semi-quavers.
This seems excessive refinement as most of the listeners are
unable to distinguish such
rapid playing. It is recommended that all notes be rounded up to
the nearest eighth. If this is done, it would be possible to use
trainees and lower grade operators with no loss of quality.
5.No useful purpose would appear to be served by repeating with
horns the same passage that has already been handled by the
strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, as
determined by the utilization review committee, the concert
could have been reduced from two hours to twenty minutes, with
greater savings in salaries and overhead. In fact, if Schubert
had attended to these matters on a cost containment basis, he
probably would have been able to finish his symphony.
Author Unknown
FEATURED SCHOOLS
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NURSING HUMOR
