A
guy wakes up in the hospital. A nurse comes in and says,
"Don't try to
talk. You were in a car accident, and your jaw was badly broken.
A
surgeon fixed it and wired it shut, and you won't be able to
open your
mouth for at least 5 weeks."
"Oh, my God," the guy says, through clenched teeth.
"How will I eat?"
"We'll feed you intravenously," the nurse says.
"We'll just stick a needle
in your arm and ..."
"NO, DON'T, PLEASE!" the man hisses loudly. "I'M
TERRIFIED OF
NEEDLES! I'd rather have my front teeth broken out, and eat mush
if I
have to!"
The nurse pauses, and says, "Let me go get the
doctor."
A while later, the doctor comes in, and says, "I hear
you're afraid of
needles."
The patient says, "Absolutely. Please, Doc, do anything,
just don't stick me
with a needle, please!!"
The doctor says, "Well, if you really want, we can feed you
using the
enema approach. We just fill up your intestines through the
bottom
entrance, rather than the top. Are you hungry? Want something
now?"
The guy says, through still-clenched teeth, "Boy, I sure
am. I'm starving."
Fifteen minutes later, the nurse comes in, rolling an IV stand
with 2 bags
hanging from it. "Well, we've got some chicken soup, and
some chocolate
milk here for you. Which one do you want to start with?"
"The chocolate milk," he says. "I love chocolate
milk."
"Okay," she says, putting a tube with an enema nozzle
on that bag. Now, I
had them microwave it some, so it wouldn't be so cold, but it
got a little
bit hot. So we can wait, or you can try it now."
"Oh, I like hot chocolate," he says. "Let's try
it now."
"Okay. here goes." She greases up the nozzle, slides
it in, and turns to the
valve on the tube. "If it's too hot, just let me know, and
I'll stop it."
She opens the nozzle.
Five seconds later, he screams, "NURSE!! NURSE!!"
She immediately closes the nozzle and says, "What's wrong?
Was it too
hot?"
"No," he says. "But it's not sweet enough!".
Author Unknown
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