Laws of the House of God

• GOMERS DON’T DIE.

• GOMERS GO TO GROUND.

• AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE
  YOUR OWN PULSE.

• THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.

• PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.

• THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH
  A #14 NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.

• AGE + BUN = LASIX  DOSE.

• THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.

• THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.

• IF YOU DON’T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN’T FIND A FEVER.

• SHOW ME A MEDICAL RESIDENT WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK
  AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.

• IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH
  SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION
  THERE.

• THE DELIVERY OF GOOD MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH
  NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.

from House of God 
by Samuel Shem,
Richard Marek Publishers, Inc., New York,
©1978 by Samuel Shem

 

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