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Laws of the House of God

  • GOMERS DON'T DIE.

  • GOMERS GO TO GROUND.

  • AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE
    YOUR OWN PULSE.

  • THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.

  • PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.

  • THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH
    A #14 NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.

  • AGE + BUN = LASIX  DOSE.

  • THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.

  • THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.

  • IF YOU DON'T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN'T FIND A FEVER.

  • SHOW ME A MEDICAL RESIDENT WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK
    AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.

  • IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH
    SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION
    THERE.

  • THE DELIVERY OF GOOD MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH
    NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.



from House of God 
by Samuel Shem,
Richard Marek Publishers, Inc., New York,
©1978 by Samuel Shem

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