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Guy Goes To A Doctor

A man goes to the doctor because his voice is too low. Explains to
the doctor that he's a salesman and needs to be able to converse
normally with his clients. The doctor says he'll take a look at him
and see if he can find out what the problem is.

After the man disrobes the doctor sees the problem immediately. The
mans penis is 15 inches long. He tell the man that the weight of his
penis is so great that it is pulling on his vocal cords and making his
voice deep. The only solution is to cut most of his penis off. The man
agrees because he needs to make a living.

Several week later the man comes back and in a normal voice tells
the doctor that business is up, but his wife is sad at the diminished sex.
He asks if the doctor knows what he did with his missing manhood. The
doctor says in a real low voice. "It's around here somewhere."

Five Ways To Know You've Joined A Cheap HMO

1. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
2. Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
3. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
4. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument
    tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
5. You ask for Viagra. You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape."

Second Opinion...

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off
to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and
phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
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