Green Hair!

Once she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed her pubic hair was dyed green, and above that there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressings which said, "Sorry about this, but we had to mow the lawn."

While visiting a friend in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses wearing little apple pins. I stopped one nurse and asked her what the pin signified. "Oh, she said, "that's just to keep the doctors away."

Nursing Homee

Thoughts To Ponder

Why do scientists call it research when they're looking for something new that's never been searched?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

Why is it that "gullible" is not in the dictionary?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place ?

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.