Old Fred

Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,
near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Old Fred's condition
appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something
to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and
Old Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.

The preacher thought it would be best not to look at the note at
this time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that
he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Old Fred
died. He said, "You know, Old Fred handed me a note just before he
died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word
of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"


Author Unknown

Arthritis?

A man came hobbling into the doctor's waiting room, assisted by his
wife. The poor fellow could hardly move. He was bent over and grimacing
with pain as he shuffled along, his hands like two rigid claws.

The receptionist looked on sympathetically. "Oh dear," she said.
"Arthritis with complications?"

"No," said the bloke's wife. "Do-it-yourself with concrete blocks"

Author Unknown