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All
the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide
who was in charge.
The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all
the body's
systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because
I pump the blood
and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all
waste
away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach,
"because I process food
and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum,
"because I'm responsible for
waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him,
so in
a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a
terrible
headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.
Eventually
the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should
be the
boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just
an a##-hole.
Author Unknown
The
Blond and The Bull
A
blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana.
They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase
their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600
dollars and
goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old
cowboy
that will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I got for
$599, take it or leave it."
She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and
says, "I'd
like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says:
"Have
found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer." The
man behind the
counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are
$.75 per word."
She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to
send one word,
please." "And what word would that be?" inquires
the man. "Comfortable."
replies the blonde. The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but how
is your friend
gonna understand this telegram?"
The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads REAL
slow, when
she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL!"
Author Unknown
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